Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Raising up my children - body and soul

Alhamdulillahirabbil'alamin. I thank God for my loving family, a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters. And I thank God again for blessing us with enough food, clothes to wear and a place to live. When we all see our lives in every single detail, we will realize that God is very generous.

As I mentioned before, I have two children, both are girls which I feel so lucky to have. And along with children, comes the responsibilities. We must provide food, clothes, education, health care et cetera for them to live properly. And also, one thing that is not less important to be taken care of, is their souls. We, the parents, are the ones who are responsibles for shaping our children's behaviours. Sure, God created them in their own unique forms, but our behaviour, the way we act, the way we speak will be their references in living their lives. We are their role models in every section. So for this matter, I've written down what I am expecting from my girls before they reach age 7 :
  • Be able to read (both Indonesian and Al Qur'an)
  • Basic calculation
  • Be able to swim
  • How to self-cleaning
  • And make the bed
  • Ride bicycle
I will also teach them to be polite, to not be stingy etc. But off course, it's all must be started from myself. I understand, that asking them to do something would be meaningless, if I didn't give any sample. And for sure, some things are hard to be done. Sometimes we know that something is not good, yet we keep doing it. That is the challenge of being a parent : you must be perfect ! Well, at least in front of your children. ;-).

My top list is making them be able to read both in Indonesian and arabic letter. I do teach my elder daughter myself. She is now half-way to complete the task. When I was a teen, one parent ever told me that a child is better be teached by someone else than his own mother. I wondered why, and now I prove it myself. Yes, she was right. Here's the reason : if a child is teached by a teacher, it is less likely she will act spoil. But when it's her mother's turn, she will act real spoil. As a parent, when I encounter this problem, I will response in two ways. Some times I will act strict and chanches are, she will learn seriously or cry or angry or make faces to me. But other times, I will spoil her, let her learn on my lap because I know she does that because she knows that I love her nomatter what. Whatever it is, I believe teaching my own children will create a strong bond between me and my daughters.

And, for physical treatments like swimming, it's my husband's part. Dividing child care between spouse is very important. Giving close relationship from each parent to each child I believe is very important.

In the coming time, my list might be changing, cause we don't know what the future bring. I am just a beginner, so tell me, how do you raise your children?